Quote of the day: I'll work on improving myself later edition
As I procrastinated, spending more time at dinner complaining about topology than in the library doing topology, I realized that procrastination isn’t just about laziness. It’s about anxiety. To work on something you don’t understand means facing your doubts and confusions head-on. Procrastination pushes back that painful confrontation.-Ben Orlin, "What It Feels Like To Be Bad At Math",Slate, April 29th, 2013.
Oh crap, it's that simple, inn'it? Or, tragically, just that complicated. Procrastination isn't about laziness (though I am, as The Stranger said of The Dude, a lazy man), it's about doubt. It's about knowing that if you try to get to work on the project, you will have to face up to your own ignorance and incompetence.
Hence a big chunk of recent writer's block: whatever some of you (or anyone else) may say about the subject, the fact is that I know that I'm an idiot who doesn't know what he's writing about. (To add a baffling layer to this self-doubt and put into context the value of my opinions on this, please bear in mind that I'm talking, here, about writing about things I make up, i.e. I don't know what I'm talking about re: things of my own invention.)
Does recognizing this help? No idea. Is this something I can face about myself, overcome, learn the self-confidence to boldly strive forward and do instead of thinking about doing (which is functionally the same as not doing)?
Eventually?
Comments
The previous year with Contracts, on the other hand? I procrastinated the shit out of that class. I hardly ever even showed up on time.
Good luck with the outlines, Seth--and get back to work!
If I do it wrong, it'll be low and the bosses will be happy -- until they're mad later when I go over budget.
If I do it right, it'll be high and the bosses will be angry and want me to find somewhere to save a bunch of money.
And then,m a couple of months down the line, they'll be mad again when it comes in at what I said it should have in the first place.
So...if I do it wrong, they'll only be mad at me once, but if I do it right, they'll be mad at me twice.
Procrastination is clearly the answer.
I am writing this as I wait for the middle child to fall asleep. When he does I'll prepare clothes for tomorrow, do my month end billing, and get ready for a meeting, then fall into bed. They'll be no more time for dilly-dallying on the internet.