An open letter to Mr. Philip Kabore

Confidence Trust and Honest‏

mr philip kabore


From: mr philip kabore (mrphilipkabore001@gmail.com)
Sent: Tue 8/30/11 8:27 AM
To:




Confidence Trust and Honest
From the desk of Mr.Philip Kabore
Bill and exchange manager
African Development Bank(A.D.B)
Ouagadougou Burkina Faso
Dear friend, With Due Respect

My name is Mr.Philip Kabore, from Burkina Faso in west Africa am working with African
development bank ( A.D.B) ouagadougou burkina Faso as the director of Auditing and account Department I discovered existing dormant account for 5years. When I discovered that there had been neither continuation nor withdrawals from this account for this long period and our banking laws stipulates that any unserviceable account for more than 5years will go into the bank revenue as an unclaimed fund.The request of foreigner in this transaction is necessary because our late customer was a foreigner and a Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.
I have made personal inquiries about the depositor and his next of kin but sadly, the depositor and his next of kin died on their way to Senegal for business tycoon, and he left no body behind for this claim I only made this investigation just to be double sure of this fact and since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives, I seek your concern for further information.

Amount to claim US$25.200.000.00
Now my questions are:-
1. Can you handle this project? ……………
2. Can I give you this trust? ………………
If yes, call me as soon as you receive this email.

Upon the receipt of your reply,I will give you the full details on how the business will be executed and also note that you will have 40% of the above mentioned sum as your own share while 50% will be for me, and the other 10% will be for the expenses that may arise in this transaction.I am expecting your urgent response to enable me inform you on how the business will be executed. Please I would like you to keep this transaction confidential and as a top secret or delete if you are not interested,
I expect you're urgent response and call, if you can handle this project,
Thanks.
Mr.Philip Kabore
Telephone:+226 74 45 16 24

Dear Mr. Kabore,

They'll tell you the business is all glamor, dames with trust funds, attractive widows with inheritances. It isn't until after you've forked over the fees for your license that you discover it isn't all what some trashy rag on cheap paper you read while you wait for the soda jerk makes it out to be. I've spent so much time sitting outside of the Sleepytime Motel on Melworth that the management's reserved a parking spot for me out front. And half the time, brother, you bring some client the photographs of her sweet hubby spending his lunch hour with some floozy--or sometimes with some well dressed young man, even--she acts like it's your fault he's been stepping out.

So you can imagine how attentive I became when I came across your missive on my desk. At first I thought my secretary, Velda, must have brought it in, but then I remembered Velda hadn't been in to work in three weeks, something to do with her paycheck bouncing higher than Sergio Fabrizze did when he missed that swing on the flying trapeze last time the circus was in town (I hear they couldn't afford a new poster for his brother Lamar and all they did was paint out the "s" so he's billed as "The Fabulous Fabrizze Brother█"). Note to self: I need to fire that broad if she isn't even going to call in.

Anyhow, I perked right up like a hobo at a burlesque show when I read your letter: missing body proof of death case--that sounds like exactly the break I need from shaking the bushes for lost puppies and aggravating my hemorrhoids in motel parking lots sneaking pics of suspected spouses. You should know I charge a fifty dollar retainer and ten bucks a day, plus expenses. The fifty is mine whether I break your case or not, no refunds. I don't know about a share in all this money you talk about: I'm fully licensed and bonded and I don't need any shenanigans that'll get the District Attorney pulling my papers again like he did when I was investigating The Dirty Damsel's Dilemma. Cost me seventy-five bucks to get 'em back and she only paid me thirty.

Now, I need some answers before I get started wasting your money barking up the wrong fire escapes. Someone claimed your depositor was dead even though there was no body left behind. So, I'm thinking, lost at sea, plane crash in the Andes, factory explosion, massive 500-piece train wreck with no picture on the box, what? You're right to be suspicious. It smells. It smells, I tell you, smells like a butcher's shop with a busted freezer in August. Are we sure they were going to Senegal? Who saw this guy get on the train or rickshaw or whatever?

A big question I have is whether the insurance boys are involved, because a lot of the time what we're talking about with a suspicious death claim and no body is an insurance fraud case. I've gone against those boys before, though I have to be honest, it was a fender bender where some guy was illegally parked too far out into the street and I still don't see what a guy's supposed to do, drive on the opposite sidewalk? Anyway, those guys, they don't like me and I don't like them, and I owe 'em . I owe 'em about eighty bucks in premiums, plus I'd like a little payback for raising my rates after that guy parked in the middle of the street like a chump.

I also want to know more about this business tycoon our subject was traveling for. How big a fish is he and how small's the fishtank? Our boy a guppy or a piranha? Should I bring my fishing pole or a stick of dynamite? And what's his angle? He have a life insurance policy on his delivery boy? Evidence our subject was sleeping with his mistress? Could be a blackmail angle. Anything you have, however small it might seem, could be what cracks this case wider than the split in the fat kid's pants after an ice cream festival.

Last thing, Philip: I may carry a roscoe, but only for emergencies. You want someone to "execute" some "business", you're scratching at the wrong door, kiddo. You want that kind of operative, there's guys down by the wharf who'll do it for a glass of bathtub gin. I'll find your schnook and let you know what the business of his slipping out the side door is all about, but anything you have to do above and beyond that, I don't want to know, jake? What I don't know about, I don't have to commit perjury over, capiche?

I look forward to opening a file as soon as I have your retainer.

Sam Samson, Private Dick.

P.S.

NO CHECKS!