Your daily moment of what-the-fucking-fuck?!
Wow. This may be your moment of WTF for the week, maybe even the month.
You may have heard the whole business about Terry Jones--the amusing one who takes all the pratfalls, not the British comedian--going to Michigan to protest a non-event and nearly blowing his foot off while he sat in his car. Jones, you may also recall, is the firebug who gets his rocks off burning the Qur'an because, you know, every time a Qur'an is burned, a Muslim loses his wings. Or something. It's all very theological and biblical and so on, or I assume so because Jones is apparently a pastor somewhere. I don't recall the exact bit of scripture that deals with how bibliocide can be an act of sympathetic magic against an enemy (you know, like a voodoo doll), but I'm pretty sure it's in there somewhere, along with all the other magic spells contained in the Bible.
So, anyway, Jones goes to Michigan to burn some books again, and almost shoots himself in the foot (if he was aiming for his brain, his ass was about two feet higher, so I guess that's a miss). And, as you might assume, lots of individuals and organizations have issued statements calling out Jones for his hatred and bigotry and taking him to task over this and previous "protests," including the President Of The United States, General David Petraeus, the Council on American-Islamic Relations, the Vatican, the Anti-Defamation League, the Southern Poverty Law Center, the Ku Klux Klan--
Yes, you read that correctly. Told you this might be your WTF moment for the month.
Yes, it seems that the enlightened souls at the Ku Klux Klan ("A Proud Tradition Of Hating Minorities Since 1865!™") have issued a denouncement of Jones, saying (per The New Yorker):
I mean, seriously, just how nutty and fucked-up do you have to be to have the fucking KKK denounce you as a bigot? Seriously? The dudes who pretty much reinvented and defined American racism with a history of terrorism--hangings, burnings, bombings, murders, mayhem, assaults, vandalism, crosses burning in yards and shadowy vigilantes in pointy hats, etc.--are saying there's a line they won't cross. I mean, these fuckers have established that they will burn anything--except, apparently, a Qur'an, and Terry Jones is a douchenozzle extremist who goes too far....
In fact, I'm actually not entirely sure if the what-the-fuckery of this news item is wholly at Jones' expense. Some of it, really, is that the organization whose name is synonymous with cross burning is apparently out there going, "What, no! I mean, sure, it's made of paper and it would probably burn nicely, but that would be mean and hateful!"
One almost wonders if the Klan's real gripe with Jones is that he's honing in on their turf. It's probably been pretty tough on the Klan's membership rolls and balance sheet to have to deal with competition over the past century from Nazis, neo-Nazis, crypto-Nazis, blackshirts, brownshirts, skinheads, etc., and now here's this little punk from Florida with a cigarette lighter and a hole in his floorboard. A line must be drawn in the sand, this aggression will not stand, yada-yada-yada. In an age in which a majority of the populace puts an African American in the White House, the pool of racist cranks is dwindling--hell, even the GOP is honing in on it with the whole Birther wing of the party. All this splintering market share and brand dilution is hell on the annual dues, y'know?
In which case, I have to wonder if this is going to be a trend. "While The Ku Klux Klan, LLC, fears for the safety of this nation's white women while there's a Mulatto in the White House, the Klan is satisfied that he is an American citizen who was born in Hawai'i and is eligible to be President and asks the public to focus on the real issues." Or: "The Ku Klux Klan, LLC, is a Christian organization, but nonetheless has no objection to dusky infidels building a recreational center within sight of the former location of the World Trade Center." Crazy, right? But could it actually happen?
This is why we drink.
You may have heard the whole business about Terry Jones--the amusing one who takes all the pratfalls, not the British comedian--going to Michigan to protest a non-event and nearly blowing his foot off while he sat in his car. Jones, you may also recall, is the firebug who gets his rocks off burning the Qur'an because, you know, every time a Qur'an is burned, a Muslim loses his wings. Or something. It's all very theological and biblical and so on, or I assume so because Jones is apparently a pastor somewhere. I don't recall the exact bit of scripture that deals with how bibliocide can be an act of sympathetic magic against an enemy (you know, like a voodoo doll), but I'm pretty sure it's in there somewhere, along with all the other magic spells contained in the Bible.
So, anyway, Jones goes to Michigan to burn some books again, and almost shoots himself in the foot (if he was aiming for his brain, his ass was about two feet higher, so I guess that's a miss). And, as you might assume, lots of individuals and organizations have issued statements calling out Jones for his hatred and bigotry and taking him to task over this and previous "protests," including the President Of The United States, General David Petraeus, the Council on American-Islamic Relations, the Vatican, the Anti-Defamation League, the Southern Poverty Law Center, the Ku Klux Klan--
Yes, you read that correctly. Told you this might be your WTF moment for the month.
Yes, it seems that the enlightened souls at the Ku Klux Klan ("A Proud Tradition Of Hating Minorities Since 1865!™") have issued a denouncement of Jones, saying (per The New Yorker):
There are without doubt Islamic sects that teach extreme views of Islam but, going down to their level of hatred by burning their books is a dangerous and ignorant way to confront their teachings. The flames made by such unholy fires never die out! The Ku Klux Klan, LLC. opposes this most un-American thinking and activity.
I mean, seriously, just how nutty and fucked-up do you have to be to have the fucking KKK denounce you as a bigot? Seriously? The dudes who pretty much reinvented and defined American racism with a history of terrorism--hangings, burnings, bombings, murders, mayhem, assaults, vandalism, crosses burning in yards and shadowy vigilantes in pointy hats, etc.--are saying there's a line they won't cross. I mean, these fuckers have established that they will burn anything--except, apparently, a Qur'an, and Terry Jones is a douchenozzle extremist who goes too far....
In fact, I'm actually not entirely sure if the what-the-fuckery of this news item is wholly at Jones' expense. Some of it, really, is that the organization whose name is synonymous with cross burning is apparently out there going, "What, no! I mean, sure, it's made of paper and it would probably burn nicely, but that would be mean and hateful!"
One almost wonders if the Klan's real gripe with Jones is that he's honing in on their turf. It's probably been pretty tough on the Klan's membership rolls and balance sheet to have to deal with competition over the past century from Nazis, neo-Nazis, crypto-Nazis, blackshirts, brownshirts, skinheads, etc., and now here's this little punk from Florida with a cigarette lighter and a hole in his floorboard. A line must be drawn in the sand, this aggression will not stand, yada-yada-yada. In an age in which a majority of the populace puts an African American in the White House, the pool of racist cranks is dwindling--hell, even the GOP is honing in on it with the whole Birther wing of the party. All this splintering market share and brand dilution is hell on the annual dues, y'know?
In which case, I have to wonder if this is going to be a trend. "While The Ku Klux Klan, LLC, fears for the safety of this nation's white women while there's a Mulatto in the White House, the Klan is satisfied that he is an American citizen who was born in Hawai'i and is eligible to be President and asks the public to focus on the real issues." Or: "The Ku Klux Klan, LLC, is a Christian organization, but nonetheless has no objection to dusky infidels building a recreational center within sight of the former location of the World Trade Center." Crazy, right? But could it actually happen?
This is why we drink.
Comments
And isn't there a major plot twist in a Robert Lewis Stevenson book about tearing a page out of a bible?
Then again, I've always had a difficult time understanding the whole Christ-on-the-cross thing in every church. Yeah...I get that this is when he died for all of their sins, but if they'd been a bit more modern at the time, would every church have Christ sitting in an electric chair on the altar?
I think I need to have a bit of a lie-down now.