Hey, gang, let's all help Rick!

No, we're not going to have a car wash or danceathon to save the old diner--that's next weekend! This week, we're going to help Rick Santorum!

That's right, you read that correctly. Put your eyes back in their sockets. We're going to be magnanimous because that's how we are here at Giant Midgets.

Here's the background: it seems that Rick "Goddamn You, Dan Savage" Santorum had a bit of an incident last week on Ruination Day where somebody kind of sort of pointed out that Rick had borrowed his presidential campaign slogan ("Fighting to Make America America Again") from a pro-union poem written by a (probably) gay black leftist. Oh noes! This prompted Mr. Last-name-no-longer-suitable-for-general-audiences to disavow the slogan, as reported by the Union Leader:

"No I had nothing to do with that," Santorum said. "I didn't know that. And the folks who worked on that slogan for me didn't inform me that it came from that, if it in fact came from that."

The student, whose name was not immediately available, was referring to the poem "Let America Be America Again." When asked a short time later what the campaign slogan meant to him, Santorum said, "well, I'm not too sure that's my campaign slogan, I think it's on a web site."

It was also printed on the campaign literature handed out before the speech.

Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! People are going to be horribly unfair to Rick about this, not realizing that the busy task of running to be nominated for president requires constant attention and effort, and it's only reasonable to delegate such mundane tasks as choosing the primary mission statement for your campaign to anonymous staffers! I think would-be critics need to consider the possibility that Rick is too busy running for president to have to worry about everything, including such petty and trivial details as deciding upon a catchy, symbolic phrase summarizing the essence of why he's even bothering to run.

Which is why I feel sorry for him. Genuine pity. And I think it is only fair, however much we might disagree with some of Mr. S's ideological agenda, to help him out so he can focus on the important and difficult, executive-level aspects of campaigning. Which is why I'm calling upon all of my loyal readers and any random visitors to help Mr. S. find an alternate campaign slogan to put on his website and campaign literature. I can't offer any prizes, I'm afraid, but that's not really the point of this--the point is to brainstorm a good campaign slogan for Mr. S. so that he doesn't have to be tarred with an association with one of America's greatest poets who just happened to be really left-wing and possibly one of those awful homosexuals who are trying to make this the United States of Gay.

So, please help in the comments section. Really good campaign slogans are positive and don't reference the opposition (no negative campaigning, please!), and the best, I think, will have some familiarity to the general public, whether they can quite put their fingers on it or not. Some examples of the kind of thing I have in mind:

Restoration Calls For More Than Changes In Ethics--This Nation Asks For Action, And Action Now! Rick Santorum For President

Rick Santorum's Land Is Our Land!

Which Side Are You On, Boys? Rick Santorum Is On Yours!

You Have Nothing To Lose But Your Chains! Workingmen Unite For Rick Santorum!

Rick Santorum Chooses America As His Home Because He Values Freedom, Democracy, Civil Liberties And An Open Society! Vote Rick!

I Am Rick Santorum And I Have Come To Liberate America!

I think those make for a good start, and I don't see any way Mr. Rick could get into any kind of complications regarding attribution or similarity to anything said by anybody else, ever. But don't let those restrict you if you have a really good one for Mr. S. (but do try to be... "nice," kids). So, gang, are you going to leave me hanging or do you have any suggestions for our frothy friend? Share 'em in the comments if you've got them, and cast any votes for your favorites down there, too!