At least it gave me an excuse to use a bikini photo I found online

I've had, just so you know, a slightly crappy morning. It could be worse--oh, it could be so much worse. But it hasn't been good, no.

Anyway. So, I'm sitting around waiting for something, and I'm reading Salon on the old smartphone while I'm waiting, and I find myself reading the latest entry in one of Salon's newest features, "Ask A Wingnut", in which a "real live conservative and former Bush official" answers questions for lefty readers of the lefty news-and-opinion site. It's cute, shallow and cute, mainly because there's a kind of watching-pandas-at-the-zoo vibe to the whole exercise of a former Bushie writing anonymous responses to questions that are really more the equivalent of tapping on the glass then anything, but "Glenallen Walken" (that's the wingnut's nom de guerre) seems to know he's playing the role of a singing, dancing monkey in the middle of a minefield in enemy territory, and he does get a few points for cheerfully agreeing to jive and shuffle for our amusement.

Anyway, the piece isn't worth that much consideration, except this comment did draw my attention:

America remains a center-right country. Its economic values are still based on the values of the capitalist system. And our social values are equally center-right, as could be seen as so many people rose to the defense of Miss California, Carrie Prejean, after she stated her opposition to same-sex marriage in the Miss USA pageant. She may have lost the crown, but I think she won the country.

Now, it may well be that America is a center-right country. I'm not too sure about that--an awful lot seems to depend on how a pollster frames a particular question, actually--but regardless of where most Americans are on the political spectrum, what's really funny about the above quote is how reality-challenged it is, and how it highlights a problem that the GOP doesn't seem to be aware of.

You all know about the Prejean vs. Hilton mess, I'm sure. If you somehow don't, I'm sorry to have to let you down. I'm afraid it wasn't:

Please join us for a historic discussion featuring noted death penalty activist Sister Helen Prejean (author of Dead Man Walking, the basis for the award-winning 1995 film) and hotel financier Conrad Hilton (founder of the Hilton chain of hotels and resorts), as they discuss politics, faith and personal responsibility in a moving and challenging intellectual debate.

No, no such luck. It wasn't even the humble nun taking Mr. Hilton's great-granddaughter by the ear for a stern Catholic-school thrashing, which no doubt would have been a pleasure to watch. No, Prejean/Hilton '09 consisted of Miss California, Carrie Prejean, appearing at Donald Trump's Miss America knockoff, "Miss USA" (clever, the way he they twisted the name and made it different, see?) and being asked a question about gay marriage by über-obnoxious celebrity blogger Perez Hilton. To which Ms. Prejean gave a predictably clueless response involving "opposite marriage," which used to be called "divorce" back where I come from and when I was five, but, you know, whatever.

Now, I hated to bring this whole thing up at all. I mean, I was sort of proud that my blog was one of the billions of blogs that wasn't sullied with the epic battle that occurred when the rapier-witted Hilton set his subtle, elegant trap for the quick-thinking Prejean, a trap he surely spent months working on, consulting with the world's leading ethicists and theorists in multiple disciplines ranging from marital history to biology to linguistics (if I'm not much mistaken, I believe Mr. Hilton spent two entire months mastering Koine Greek so he could study early versions of the Pauline epistles).

But "Glenallen's" comment made me laugh because it misses two crucial points about l'affaire des idiots that have nothing to do with gay marriage at all. The first is that there are a good many of us who are quite happy to defend Ms. Sunshine's right to believe and say whatever the hell she wants to, who also think she's frankly an insensitive moron with bad fake boobs. Prejean can say and think whatever she wants to--that's the nice thing about living in a free country, and while I know there were many who jumped down her throat, I'm more than willing to defend her, or, more accurately, her right to say stupid things. The second point is that Perez Hilton is a preening, talentless jackass who has captured the essence of celebrity for himself--he's famous for being famous--by talking about celebrities--who are themselves famous for being famous. It's very meta, if you want to give it more thought than it's worth.

The point being, of course, that there are plenty of people who leapt to Prejean's defense and onto Hilton's back who explicitly disagree with the socially conservative/popular Republican stance on gay marriage. "Supporting" Prejean doesn't necessarily mean what "Glenallen" wants it to, nor does attacking Perez Hilton. This kind of thing isn't that unusual, and is one of the reasons the Republicans are in trouble: they frequently seem to conflate defense of a person with defense of a position (or vice-versa), oblivious to the reality that many nuanced individuals from the left and the right subscribe to the view attributed to Voltaire: "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."

And now I've given that whole business far more time than it deserved. How are you, today?

CORRECTION: Dr. Phil correctly points out that Miss USA isn't Donald Trump's knockoff, but predates Trump's involvement. Indeed, it seems Miss USA was started in 1952 by a swimsuit company, after a 1950 Miss America winner refused to pose in a swimsuit. Anyway, the snark has been amended in the original sentence. Thanks, Dr. Phil!