And then the story began to get really interesting...

Right, so first the story was that a woman named Bernann McKinney had spent fifty grand to make five clones of her favorite pit bull, "Booger," which frankly didn't seem like something worth that much commentary: crazy lady clones pit bull, okay, whatever. Some people, you know, have more money than sense. And while there certainly is a technical achievement in cloning animals, the other part of the story was that a woman decided to bypass all the abandoned animals in shelters and cute puppies given up in neighborhood adoptions in favor of spending a helluva lot of money in an attempt to Xerox a dead pet.

So, you know, it was sort of interesting from a geek/tech standpoint and sort of disgusting from just about every other standpoint, so I didn't bother throwing out a comment.

Then the story began to get a little interesting.

You see, turns out that Ms. Bernann McKinney is the same person as Joyce McKinney, a woman who stalked and kidnapped a Mormon missionary in 1977, for the purpose of chaining him to a bed so she could repeatedly have sex with him.

No, you read that correctly the first time.

Seems Ms. McKinney, a former Miss Wyoming, became obsessed with the young Mormon and decided to have her way with him. So she tracked him to England, abducted him, chained him to the bed, and... well....

For her part, Ms. McKinney always claimed everything was consensual.

For his part, the gentleman said, "I didn't wish it to happen. I was extremely depressed and upset after being forced to have sex."

(Well, you know, he's a Mormon. They wear special underwear and stuff. No, I'm not saying I believe him... look, I'm just quoting him, okay? That's what he said.)

In 1979, Ms. McKinney jumped bail and fled Britain, resurfacing here and there over the next few years.

International Sex Fugitive Clones Puppies. Now, even I have to admit that was a much more interesting subject of discussion. And yet I still wasn't going to discuss it here. I mean, yes, it has science and beauty queens and kink and ridiculous excess, but it's still pretty much a story about a crazy woman who sells her house and travels to South Korea to clone a dead pup, when she pretty much could have just driven down to the pound and paid a vaccination fee.

And then the story began to get really interesting. No, seriously.

It seems that Ms. McKinney, who raped a Mormon, fled from justice, popped up again to clone a pooch, it seems she wasn't completely inactive in the meantime. It appears that she also is wanted by authorities in Tennessee for planning a burglary intended to procure the money to purchase a false leg for her horse.

No, you read that correctly the first time, too.

It seems Ms. McKinney had a three-legged horse. (I want you to know that I am having extreme difficulty typing this.) Which she loved. (Being loved by Ms. McKinney appears to be a pretty remarkable thing, considering the lengths she goes to for her loved ones.) So she talked a 15 year-old boy into breaking into a house for her, so she could get some money. To purchase a prosthetic leg. For the aforementioned three-legged horse.

I give up.

So, here you go: Puppy-Cloning International Sex Fugitive With Three-Legged Horse Wanted In Tennessee. Happy now? Let's see how long we have to wait until I update this with yet another bizarre addition to the ever-growing headline.