Sometimes you just have to say "yes" to taking the customer satisfaction survey...

So I was giving Time Warner Cable their filthy lucre, or trying to, and they asked me if I wanted to take a customer satisfaction survey. Having jumped through several hoops to get to that point, I was quite agreeable, even though I eventually had to go back to their old payment site to finish the transaction....

Were you able to complete your task today?

Stupid user interface had me go through all sorts of leaps to register to use a website I was already registered to use. I finally had to go to the former website--which worked perfectly, thanks.

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What do you like about online billing?

Paying my bloody bill.

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How could online billing be improved?

You people replaced a functional way to access BillPay Xpress with a page that wasted my time, had me re-register to use features that I've used for years, and then wouldn't actually load the page where I pay the bleeding bill.

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What would you find helpful that does not currently exist in MyServices today (e.g. mobile phone updates, etc)?

Something that would be helpful that doesn't currently exist? Hm. That's a toughie. Wait! I know! The website could actually work! Yeah! That would be pretty nifty, actually! Maybe you could put basic functionality and convenience in the pipeline for future upgrades!

You know what else was fun? Clicking all those zeroes in the "rate your satisfaction 1-10" items.

What's especially frustrating when a payment site goes bad is that you're there trying to give somebody money and the damn thing is giving you shit. I mean, really? Seriously? It's not like I'm actually asking you people for some kind of help that you'll outsource to a phone center on another continent or anything, I'm trying to give you money. You know, trying to satisfy your whole raison d'être as an impersonal, soulless, sociopathic, artificial, money-grubbing corporate entity. The least you could do is take me to a screen where I can type in an account number and then you can display a reassuring message telling me you won't disconnect my Internet access for one more month.

Is that too much to ask, you rotten bastards? Nevermind, that was a rhetorical question and we both know the answer, don't we?