What Kubrick and Clarke got wrong...

More than four decades ago, filmmaker Stanley Kubrick and science-fiction master Arthur C. Clarke teamed up to create one of the most--maybe the most--brilliant science fiction film of all time, 2001: A Space Odyssey. The movie portrayed a future society of the years 1999-2001--our past, now, obviously--as having spaceplane flights to permanent space stations, lunar bases (one is visited, at least one other referred to in dialogue), and the capacity to mount a manned mission across vast interplanetary distances using advanced propulsion systems (the structure of the spacecraft Discovery, with a lengthy spine separating propulsion from habitation, implies some kind of advanced fission or, more likely, fusion drive), suspended animation and artificial intelligence.

Ironically, in retrospect none of these things are the movie's least accurate prognostication of the then-future....

WELCOME TO THE HAL-9000 CORPORATION, URBANA ILLINOIS, CUSTOMER SUPPORT WEBSITE. HOW MAY WE HELP YOU TODAY (CHOOSE ONE)?

(1) PERSONAL/HOME
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3.

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(1-800-999-9999)

("Thank you, all of our customer service representatives are busy assisting other customers. We recommend you visit our website, WWW.HAL.COM/SERVICE if you need immediate assistance. Estimated wait times are in excess of one hour.")

(Dammit.)

PLEASE SELECT THE TYPE OF PROBLEM YOU ARE HAVING FROM THE FOLLOWING MENU:

(1) Sound.
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(3) Pod Bay Doors No Longer Respond To Custom QuickKeys.
(4) Pod Bay Doors No Longer Respond To Voice Command.
(5) Pod Bay Doors Open And Shut Randomly.
(6) Other.

("Thank you, all of our customer service representatives are busy assisting other customers. We recommend you visit our website, WWW.HAL.COM/SERVICE if you need immediate assistance. Estimated wait times are in excess of fifty-five minutes.")

(Fuck!)

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(1) Voice Command Is Sluggish.
(2) Voice Command Is Non-Responsive.
(3) Computer Has Become Paranoid And Is Trying To Kill Me.
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(5) Other.

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2) ACCESS THE COMPUTER BATTERY MOUNTING BRACKET (see illustration).

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6) CLOSE THE BATTERY MOUNTING BRACKET (see illustration).

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2.

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